There are times as a Mom I get so wrapped up in what my kiddos are doing that I forget that one day I will want to look back and remember the random times of our marriage as well. So I thought that I would write about us for a change!
Our summer nights since we've become parents haven't changed much. Our kids are all in bed before 8pm, so we then head out to our deck, crack open a beer, and watch the sunset. When Marlie was little I bought a book called "All About Us". It's a book filled with probably 1,000 questions that you are supposed to sit down and answer with your spouse. I bought it at Urban Outfitters on a whim, and it has been awesome!!! We started filling it out 5 years ago and still haven't finished. But every once in a while after we crack our beers, we will work on a few quesitons. After 10 years together, there aren't too many surprises, but some things are just fun to talk about! I was surprised to know that Jayson knew how to cross-stitch though . . .
Anyway, our summer nights are filled with lots of laughter and conversation. Those nights after our kids are in bed are our chance to just be ourselves, not Mom and Dad. When we first talked about having kids we agreed that any children we had would be a huge part of our world - but our marriage, and our relationship, would always come first. There are lots of parents that can't conceptualize this because their children are the center of their world. Don't get me wrong, everything we do is for our children and because of them, but we do it as a team, and if the team can't work together, life isn't going to be very fun. And the reality is, in 15-20 years, our kids will be fabulously independent adults with their own lives, and we refuse to be that couple that sits down after 25 years of marriage and has nothing to talk about because the centers of their world have their own lives now . . . check out the stats on divorces for couples with over 20yrs of marriage . . . sad . . .
I am writing this down because I want to remember these nights and conversations . . . and I'm writing it because I want our kids to have an idea of how we stayed married for 50 years when they look at their own relationships :) Because the truth is, we have great parents . . . but as far as first marriages go, probably not what we want to model ours after since they are all over . . .
It is hard with 3 kids and a crazy work schedule to find the time to sit and talk about just yourself - because most times there are a million other conversations that need to be had about kids and life. But I love and cherish the fact that, on the nights he is home, Jayson and I sit down and have that time to ourselves. We don't need a babysitter or a fancy night out - we have a deck with an awesome view of the sunset and a kegerator in our basement . . . and we take that time every night that we have the opportunity to sit down and connect . . . because if we waited for an actual date night, it would only be once a year! ha! And ps, have you heard what babysitters charge per hour these days?!?!
I look forward to one day finishing our book and giving it to our children . . . I also look forward to maybe remembering to take pictures of us that don't involve an IPhone camera after a 15 hour day taking care kiddos and then sitting in 90 degree weather at night! Did I make enough excuses for why I look so bad in this picture?!