For My Kids

My intent with this blog is to make sure that I pen things I want my kids to read someday in a book about their childhoods. Sometimes it's not all sunshine and roses . . . Today was one of those days . . . 

To My Children:

Today you got off the bus just as you do every day . . . Only today was one day I almost broke down in tears. 

You see, today you went to school like a normal day, only it became not so normal around 9am. I got a voicemail from the school system stating that there had been threats made on unspecified schools in the area. Here we are 10 months after the brutal scene that was Sandy Hook (another day I had never been so happy to see you home), and in our small town someone threatened our schools. The schools went on lockdown. It took everything in me to not come pick you up - I did drive by the school to make sure that police were stationed outside though. Everything turned out fine . . . In relative terms.

You arrived home and the only disruption you had noticed in your day was being unable to go outside for recess. I am so thankful for the teachers and the school not causing panic. But it's still not fine - you have to live in a world where "lock down drills" are as common as fire drills. You have to go to school where armed police officers guard your doors, the doors that have to remain locked at all times. I am not okay with this . . . I don't live in a state of fear or worry, that's pointless, but on days like today I want to scream and throw punches at the fact that you have to grow up in a world where even going to school can be unsafe. 

This day will have no significance in your life, nor should it. But for me, your Mom, I will never forget this day or the momentary feelings I had where for one of the first times in your lives I feared for your safety and there was nothing I could do. 

At the end of the day, you were safe, unaware of the fear, and you came home as innocent as when you left. That is what I will carry with me - because you came home, and I have to believe you always will . . . Because you can't let fear rule your world . . . No matter what kind of world you live in . . . 

I love you and now have to go squeeze you a few more times and take some deep breaths . . . 

Love,

Mom